Sherlock Holmes Launches New Political Party, Promises to “Deduce a Better Britain”

Britain’s political landscape was thrown into confusion this week after legendary detective Sherlock Holmes announced the formation of The Deduction Party, a new political force aimed at solving the “mysteries of government” using his trademark powers of observation and logic.

Holmes, speaking at a packed press conference in London, declared that “parliamentary incompetence is an elementary problem” and that it was “time to treat Westminster like a crime scene.”

THE PLATFORM
The Deduction Party’s manifesto includes:

• Compulsory deerstalker hats for all MPs “to encourage thinking.”
• Mandatory daily logic puzzles before Cabinet meetings.
• Replacing Prime Minister’s Questions with “Prime Minister’s Interrogations,” where the leader must withstand 15 minutes of intense cross-examination under a single lightbulb.
• A forensic audit of all public spending, “down to the last custard cream.”

Holmes also vowed to “sniff out corruption” — literally — by introducing bloodhound teams into Whitehall.

DR. WATSON’S ROLE
Long-time associate Dr. John Watson has been named Deputy Leader and “Minister for Common Sense.” Watson says the party will focus on tackling the nation’s problems “with the same rigour we’d use to solve a triple murder in Surrey.”

“Sherlock spotted the collapse of the housing market three years before it happened,” Watson told reporters. “He based it on nothing more than the tread patterns on an estate agent’s shoes.”

REACTION FROM WESTMINSTER
Reactions from established parties have been mixed. One anonymous Conservative MP dismissed Holmes as “a fictional busybody,” while Labour frontbenchers expressed concern that The Deduction Party’s forensic approach could make other parties look “worryingly vague.”

Liberal Democrats leader Ed Davey welcomed the new competition, saying:

“It’s about time someone in politics understood how to follow a trail of evidence instead of a trail of donors.”

ELECTORAL PROSPECTS
Political analysts are divided on the party’s chances in the next general election. Polling shows strong support in areas with high murder rates in ITV dramas, as well as in Baker Street, where The Deduction Party is predicted to win 103% of the vote.

HOLMES’ FINAL WORD
Holmes closed the launch event with a warning to his rivals:

“You may attempt to hide your misdeeds in the fog of politics, but the fog is my natural habitat.”

The first rally for The Deduction Party will take place next week in Westminster Hall, where attendees are encouraged to bring their own magnifying glasses “in case anything suspicious occurs.”