Dyson Unveils AI-Powered Vacuum Cleaner That Can Judge Your Lifestyle Choices

British technology giant Dyson has announced its most ambitious product yet: an AI-powered vacuum cleaner that not only cleans your house, but also critiques the way you live in it.

Dubbed the Dyson IntelliSuck 9000, the new device uses cutting-edge machine learning to identify dirt, dust, and regrettable life decisions in real time.

“We wanted to create a vacuum that doesn’t just suck — it thinks,” said Dyson lead engineer Becca Harms at the launch event in London.
“It’s the first home appliance that knows you better than your therapist.”

HOW IT WORKS
Using over 17 onboard sensors, the IntelliSuck 9000 maps your home, analyses your lifestyle, and uploads real-time feedback to your phone.

Features include:

• Passive-Aggressive Mode: Sighs audibly when it encounters dropped crisps or socks left behind the sofa.
• Clutter Recognition: Gently nudges piles of Amazon parcels while whispering, “Again?”
• Regret Analyzer™: Detects late-night snack debris and recommends healthier snack options — loudly.
• Room Roaster: When entering a bedroom past 2pm, it announces, “Still in bed? Not judging… except I literally am.”

REAL-TIME VOICE ASSISTANT
The vacuum features an onboard AI voice assistant named Clara, who delivers harsh truths between suction cycles.

“I noticed you haven’t hosted guests in a while,” Clara might say. “Was it something you said, or just the smell in here?”

Dyson claims Clara is “emotionally calibrated,” though early beta testers have reported “mild existential spirals” after using the vacuum for more than 10 minutes.

CONNECTED LIVING
The vacuum syncs with smart home devices, using data from your thermostat, fridge, and sleep tracker to build “a complete picture of who you’ve become.”

“When paired with Alexa, Clara can now interrupt your music to suggest more productive uses of your time,” said Harms.
“For example, instead of dancing to ABBA, perhaps clean the kitchen you haven’t mopped since 2021.”

RETAIL AND REACTION
Retailing at £1,299 (or 3 easy payments and one uncomfortable therapy session), the IntelliSuck 9000 launches next month.

Early reactions have been mixed. One beta user wrote:

“I bought a vacuum. I did not expect to be emotionally dismantled by it in under six minutes.”

Another called it “the most British product imaginable — polite, efficient, and quietly judgemental.”

Dyson insists the AI is not meant to be “cruel,” just “constructively honest in a way your relatives aren’t anymore.”